My Life as a Fictional Character

She has my name. She has my resume. But someone else wrote her words so I had to figure out her "back story."

For some reason, one day I started getting multiple versions of the following message on my phone.

‘Hello, my name is Monica, recruiter at Arc. We came across your profile through several online recruitment platforms and were impressed by your background and experience. We’re currently offering a flexible part-time opportunity assisting TEMU merchants with product reviews. ‘

Since this did not really sound like the kind of job I might take, my first thought was that perhaps this was my pay back for having bought a few too many pre-tariff, much less expensive (but very nice quality, I might add) dog toys (for just pennies a serving) on Temu. But then again, neither did being part of the writing staff of ‘The Deborah Vance show’, a fictional talk show hosted by legendary fictional comedian Deborah Vance in the new fourth season of the real world Emmy/Golden Globe, SAG/Aftra and Writer’s Guild award winning (and Best Comedy actress winning) HBO best comedy show in the world “Hacks.”

In Season 4 of this beloved show, Legendary Comedian Deborah Vance has hired a team of ten writers for her fictional talk show.

All the other “writers” on the staff are actors and actresses who have been given character names that are different from their actual names. For example, an actress named “Holmes” is playing a writer character named “Melanie”. A stand up comedian named Danny Jolles is playing a comedy writer named “Nate.” But a writer named “Merrill Markoe” is playing a writer character named “Merrill Markoe.”

Obviously I had my work cut out for me.

When I agreed to this challenging assignment, I was well acquainted with the first three seasons of the show HACKS since it was one of my favorite shows. So I was pumped last spring when the show runners/creators asked me to be a consultant in the planning of Season 4. I was a logical choice because, in the arc of the show, Deborah Vance was launching a talk show. In the arc of my life, I once lived thru that exact same thing.

Then a few months later, when the show’s creators were casting the writer’s room, they asked me if I wanted to join the fictional writing staff. That idea made me laugh out loud so I happily agreed. It seemed pretty uncomplicated.

Or was it?

After all, the 3D version of Merrill Markoe (who I hang out with in my home) always writes all her own lines.

To prepare for this adjustment, I had to reorganize my thinking to comprehend playing a character who has my name but who was not me since she was created and written by other writers. Having perused “her” lines, I immediately noticed that she said a few things that defined her as an entirely different kind of person than the one with whom I live. For example, in one scene she grouses about wanting a 2 martini lunch. The real life version of me doesn’t drink. Clearly, I had some work to do to better understand “her” in order to play “her”

Even though I once took an acting class, it was 25 years ago. Thus, I decided to read a few articles by actors trying to teach newer actors “how to develop a character.” Here are a few of the time-tested acting tips I found helpful.

CREATING A CHARACTER

“Your job as an actor is to make an audience believe your performance is real because playing a role means acting in ways you might not normally behave in real life. So a good place to begin is by identifying how you are LIKE your character.”

• One obvious similarity between myself and this alternate universe writer named Merrill Markoe who works on The Deborah Vance show is that We BOTH wear this outfit to work on occasion. That is because in this scene I am wearing my own clothes.

  

2. Identify how you are DIFFERENT from your character.

A. WORK CONDITIONS: The real life version of me doesn’t have a nice, tidy, clearly labeled work space with my name on it. The real-life version of me is working in our guest room even as I am writing this very sentence.

The character “Merrill Markoe” had a nice, tidy, clearly labeled little trailer!.

B. BETTER QUALITY SNACKS. The real-life version of me does NOT have access to an unlimited array of high-end and borderline ‘healthy’ “snacks” located only a few feet away in an area that is known as “craft services.”

The fictional “character”. known as Merrill enjoyed many, many chocolatey treats, bags of mixed nuts, nicely prepared sandwiches on good bread and cups full of delicious cold brew coffee from this area. Which brings me to another big difference between us: the fictional character didn’t hound herself about weight gain. She decided that all the anxiety that was produced by the filming situation was probably burning a lot of calories. She also looked forward to enjoying a nice, big catered lunch at noon.

• C. BETTER HAIR: One of the BIGGEST differences between the 2D version of Merrill and the 3D version of same is that the HAIR of the fictional version looked MUCH better than the real-life version. There was a good reason for this. The fictional version of Merrill had her hair blown dry and then ‘tended’ by ‘a hair person’ who also showed up unexpectedly during filming to re- arrange it without even having to be asked!

  

  In this scene from episode 4, my bangs are looking MUCH better than they ever do In real life.

  D. DIFFERENT TASTE IN CLOTHES: Only the fictional version of Merrill would have picked out this shirt to wear to work. The real-life version of me tends to avoid animal prints.

.

E. SHE HAD AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT WAY OF “TAKING A BREAK.” The breaks taken by the fictional version of Merrill Markoe were far more populated with talented people that she didn’t really know than the breaks experienced by the real life Merrill.

When taking a break, the real life version of me would NOT have had all these phone obsessed people near by, also taking a” break.

3. To understand your character’s motivations, analyze the script

“To help you plot your character’s ‘journey’, analyze what the other characters are saying about your character.”

These screen grabs show what the characters in the script were saying about me in Episode Two….before I appear for the first time in Episode 4. Apparently the fictional version of me just got back from Rome. And also there was kind of a conflict about hiring me. Fortunately, I was able to incorporate this detail into my appearance in Episode 4 because I am insecure enough in general to understand how this might happen.

4. Perform your character.

Here is a still of my fictional character being performed. You can tell she is DIFFERENT from the real-life version of me because in real-life I rarely smile that big.

5. Character development exercises.

“Choose a point in the script that invokes emotion and resonates with you.”

For this exercise, I selected the sequence in episode 4 where I say “I would so not want your job.” That ‘resonated’ with me and ‘invoked emotion’ because when I once had a head writer job on a talk show (in real life) it occurred to me on more than one occasion that it seemed like “a job for a lunatic” In the graphic below, I reveal how I made my “acting choices” for that scene in Episode 4.

6.Where permissible, try some improvisation:

• “It’s a job for a lunatic,” was a line that came flying out of my mouth after the director, Paul W. Downs , suggested that we improvise. That is why here we see that I have activated my patented “Seriously?™” face.

  

  In this moment, I tried to look like someone who had once had a job as a head writer on a talk show and found it to be crazy-making.

  ANYWAY, I hope that this ad hoc tutorial has been helpful to anyone just starting out as an actor who may one day find themselves auditioning for any future “Merrill Markoe” characters.

• FYI: This fictional version of me is supposedly appearing in four more episodes which I will update as they occur. But “her” other appearances all involve being part of a large diverse group of thirty-something ‘writer’ characters. Seen below is one of “her” appearances in Episode 5. Here she is making her “Smile and get along with everyone™” face. I have posted this photo for you to use for purposes of rehearsal so that when/if you watch Episode 5 and this image flashes before you on screen for 1/2 a second, you will already know where to aim your eyes in order to best study my technique.

  

  In this image, my Merrill Markoe character is seated immediately to the right of one of the stars of the show, Hannah Einbinder,. (the only one standing.) She is NOT playing Hannah Einbinder in this scene. Her character is named Ava. Only I am playing a character who has my same name.

Future updates will keep you current with the various acting techniques I use as the episodes air and I am able to see what portion of what I remember filming did not “hit the cutting room floor. “

Until then….as my character likes to say when she visits ‘the continent.’

Here my character is seen making her “Ciao™” face.

UPDATE: EPISODE 6

Here are a few more helpful acting short cuts I was able to use in developing my character.

In this scene, Ava (the Head Writer character) is very stressed out because of unreasonable demands made on her by her boss, the star of the show where they both work. This is a situation to which I could definitely relate. However nothing I learned from real life was remotely useful in building MY fictional character (Merrill Markoe) who, as we see, is far more clueless than original recipe Merrill Markoe (whose body I inhabit.) The fictional character blithely steps into an increasingly heated series of exchanges between Ava and the other writers (concerning the ordering of lunch.) and winds up being the catalyst for “a whole bone-in Branzino” to be thrown at a window.

Oddly enough, the real life Merrill Markoe once cooked a lobster dinner for an ungrateful goon she was dating, long ago in her goon-dating days. After she cooked him dinner, he had a temper tantrum and threw his whole plate of food at a wall. Clearly the fictional Merrill Markoe never had an experience like this and therefore exercised no caution when triggering another person. So in playing the fictional Merrill Markoe, I adopted the attitude of the real-life teenage Merrill Markoe who frequently spoke without thinking and had no idea when to shut up.

I think the fictional Merrill Markoe is a much bigger dork than the real life Merrill Markoe. At least I hope that is the case.

EPISODE 8: A challenging transformation

In this scene I am complaining about having to order a salad for lunch. The real life version of me has eaten a salad for lunch pretty much every day for the entirety of my shockingly salad laden life. Therefore, as an actress I had to dig deep when I got to this line.

Speaking as someone who doesn’t drink…and if I did, would never drink at lunch on a work day because two martinis would put me soundly to sleep, I had to transform myself into a wilder more irresponsible person. Perhaps the kind of person who wouldn’t leave a party ten minutes after arriving, as I am known to do. To aid me in my attempt to build this new character, I decided to change into my other pair of glasses.

TEMU UPDATE:

Last Sunday, I got another text from my new friend “Monica”. It read as follows

“Hello. My name is Monica and I am a recruiter at TOP. We are currently offering a flexible part time job opportunity where you can work for 15 minutes per day in your free time assisting TEMU merchants with product reviews.”

Hey wait a second, Monica. Good to hear from you again but listen, lady: Don’t BURY THE LEDE! When did you leave ARC and join TOP, apparently taking the TEMU account WITH YOU! Congratulations on your new job! You must be walking on air! But if I were you, I would keep my eye on STEVEN WEILUF, whose name appears in the URL that sent your text. I hope he isn’t being a pain in the ass and making off with your profits. Sadly, I still am not interested in the incredible money making opportunity you are offering me. Yet I do hope that the new job goes well for you and included a sizable bump up in salary. (Word to the wise: don’t turn your back on this Steven character.)

ONE MORE UPDATE:

If you want to read a piece about the above, written in the Washington Post……it is HERE.