In times of great tension, such as now, it is not uncommon for humans to try and predict the future. This is especially true when things seem at their bleakest. There are an assortment of ways to do this. Some are better known than others. In my experience, all have about the same level of accuracy (low.)
There are Runes, which are thought to have been developed by the Goths using the Etruscan alphabet in the first or second century.
Runes are stones, each of which is inscribed with a specific symbol. What that symbol means has been passed down thru generations but is nevertheless open to a variety of interpretations. A person randomly chooses nine of the runes and lays them out in a pattern. Then an authority with a lot of answers (either a book or a person who understands this stuff) tells you what the combination of symbols you picked is saying about the future. I think it might help the accuracy if you are related to a Visigoth.
There are also Tarot Cards, which date back to Italy in the 1400’s. Each card bears an elaborately drawn symbol. The Tarot is still a very popular way to try and predict the unknown.
By blindly selecting a specific number of cards from a freshly shuffled deck, a map of your future is said to be revealed. To figure out what the array of cards you picked is telling you about upcoming events, you must consult a tarot reader who claims to know how to add these symbols up, buy a book that claims to do the same or find someone who has actually heard of a hierophant.
When I was younger, I used to play around with this stuff to decidedly mixed results. I never did figure out how accurate even one of my predictions were. What I did find addictive was the way that whatever cards I drew were always able to eleviate a bad mood. That was because most of the cards contained a couple of meanings. The card that symbolizes death can mean…um…death (kind of a downer). OR it can mean re-birth. Rebirth is so much cheerier! Since we have a choice, I say we go with rebirth!
That is why I was excited when I realized that my dog Wally had inadvertently stumbled into a brand new method of prognostication. And how considerate of him to do so as we find ourselves navigating yet another landscape of terrifying drama. So I thought now would be a good moment to share this new method of prophecy with the world. First a little background.
Wally is the rare dog who actually takes very good care of his toys. Unlike every other dog I have known, Wally doesn’t bother gutting them and pulling out the stuffing. That is why he has accumulated such a large number of toys. There are so many, in fact, that we began to pile them onto a chair to prevent the house from being wall-to-wall carpeted with brightly colored squeaky toys.
Wally is also the kind of dog who feels that every time he approaches you, he needs to bring a toy with him in his mouth as an offering. I am not sure of his motives. It might be a form of payola. Or perhaps he is just gilding the lily of an otherwise pro-forma greeting by trying to add a little something extra.
At least, these were my thoughts before it occurred to me that there might be a method to his selection process. At first I wondered if I was being delusional. Was he actually bringing me specific toys at particular times because they had a layer of extra sensory meaning? So I began to keep track of what toy he brought and on which occasion, as well as the way the events surrounding the toy bringing seemed to play out.
It took a while for me to organize this information into the multi-layered method of foreseeing the future that I am about to reveal. But I am finally ready to unveil Wally’s simple, and yet astonishingly complex, method of prophecy.
I am so proud to now present: The Squeaky Toy Prophecy.
As they always say, when they say things like this, “Your mileage may vary.” And of course, they conveniently never do identify who ‘they’ really are. But I am pretty sure this newly minted method of seeing what is to come is exactly as accurate as all the others.
Delightful and hilarious subject matter for a cloudy cool Friday the one three. I sense a common denominator in each
offered life clue.
There are tarot sets available to devine the canine mind but the tip of the windfall
idea here would be a set of sqwishy squeaky chew resisstant Tarot dog toy cards.
See what the fates really have in mind while your pooch is your card bearer.
Extra points for doggie owners who discover and ask for the off menu " burger patty only"
item for the drive through Macs window😊
Did anybody ever tell you that sometimes your dog looks like Princess Di in that Bashir interview? She was psychic, too.