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That's no lady!'s avatar

OMG Merrill I really shouldn't read these at work. I'm in my cube laughing my ass off, the CLOCKS!

Brilliant, my dear.

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Perry Albertson's avatar

Thank you, as always, Merrill!

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Joe Rhodes's avatar

I remember seeing Jerzy Kozinski on the Dick Cavett show many decades ago talking about his two-sleeps method. He'd stay up writing until 2 or 3 a.m., sleep for 3-4 hours, get up around 7 and take a 3-4 hour"nap" sometime during the day. Of course, he also killed himself, so maybe not the best role model.

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Suicide definitely puts a damper on his role model status.

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mermcoelho's avatar

There’s a guy running for Senate in Virginia who is seriously upset about all the witches taking over. I thought fighting for abortion rights again was bad, but now we have to protect the witches again.

Brilliant and hilarious. I’ve learned to keep things out of my mouth when I’m reading your work. Otherwise, when I start laughing uncontrollably, I spew it everywhere or nearly choke on it. Your writing should come with a warning label. Also, your spouse and dogs will want to know what’s wrong with you.

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Jennifer Ward Dudley's avatar

I worked in Cincinnati art Museum years ago and remember

Your brother Glenn. Wonderful and very talented in his artform as well as yours. As for sleeping. I do. Very soundly unless when plagued with night terrors. That’s another story and only mine . Keep deep breathing and listen to sounds of water and trees rustling ..just an idea

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

THanks. As it happens, I too remember my brother Glenn! You are right. He was a great guy.

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Marthe's avatar

Second Sleep for me involves accessing the New York Times Games app during The Watch which I highly recommend. I also am unemployed, so from 6am to 11am I engage in a Third Sleep. I guess that needs to stop, as COULD very well be depression.

Thank you for your always funny Substacks.

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Bill Southern's avatar

Great piece! But, why stop at two? If two is good, three would be better. I can volunteer my services between 6:00 a.m. and 10:00 a.m., but, then I absolutely must get going - the neighbors would talk.

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Chris Stanton's avatar

I also just recently learned about this two-sleep business. Since I always wake up after a couple hours, it sounded great and I’d like to see it make a comeback. But I’d need to know what’s expected of me during “the Watch.” Will household members be socializing? Would I have to take phone calls?” If there’s more interpersonal contact involved, I’d rather just suffer through the insomnia.

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Excellent point. I almost agree. You can, of course, set your phone/messages on Do Not Disturb. But as far as other household members, It might be the kind of thing you need to keep secret.

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painedumonde's avatar

I used to serve in Uncle Sam's confused group. I went to sea once in a one in three WATCH rotation. A four hour shift from noon to four then a four hour shift from midnight to four. For thirty days. At least it was in the Pacific...

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Woke Marxist Pope's avatar

Thanks for finding a silver lining in our return to a more medieval lifestyle. I myself am planning to become an anchoress, except that I’m allowed to go out whenever I want, and when I do, no one except animals and babies will be permitted to address me.

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Shire Jansen's avatar

No mention of the "siesta" method, or did I miss it? Recently retired and have been making it a part of my routine on days the pets wake me up before 5am (which is most days) to take a nap (no alarm) mid afternoon. Have felt more rested and am very productuve in the wee hours, I am definitely pro siesta.

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Mavis Jukes's avatar

Funny, as always! You crack me up. I am thinking I may have been the one who gave you that clock. I remember sending off a number of fun objects to you in the nineties.

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

I regret to say that I do not recall numbers of so-called 'fun objects' from you. In fact, I can not recall even one so-called fun object from you.

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Liza Blue's avatar

Thanks the adverb "fetchingly" in the second picture caption. As a verb, fetch means to retrieve, or more unusually refers to a price - "that quilt will fetch a pretty penny on Etsy."

Fetching, most commonly used by grandmothers, has an entirely different meaning - i.e. a "fetching garment." More recently this fuddy-duddy adjective has been co-opted by Mean Girls, abbreviating fetching to "fetch" meaning cute.

But have never seen the adverb "fetchingly." What other actions can be done "fetchingly." Can you walk that way, have politicians every done something "fetchingly?"

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Jennifer Ward Dudley's avatar

I’ve recently begun posting some stories on Substack. Happened upon yours today. So many memories of CAM , talented staff , great director Timothy Rub and the next one whose name I’ll leave blank. Machiavellian.

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Jennifer Ward Dudley's avatar

So many stories. I need not tell you how respected he was in CAM. I’ve remained close with Benedict Leca who was Chief Curator of European Art. Now Executive Director of Redwoods Library and Atheneum Newport RI. They were very close. Scoundrels.

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Yes. I'm glad to hear that. I have fond memories of CAM. Nice museum. Tho it ended rather badly for my brother there. I also heard my brother fondly mention Benedict. There are many words I would use to describe my brother but I would have to admit the word scoundrel would not have made the top 1000.

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Jennifer Ward Dudley's avatar

Mea culpa. He was subjected to benedict!

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Craig Tyson Adams's avatar

I couldn't help but think of Robert Benchley when I was reading this. Thanks for posting.

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Yes. I have seen that piece. Especially the part that involves making a giant snack.

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