I intend to re-read that entire paragraph about the clown nose many times in order to re-experience and savour the brilliance. SO hysterical, this whole piece is. Thanks so much!!
I also see Aristocrats as a documentary on comics of that era. I thought Sarah Silverman had an interesting take as well. And Gilbert Gottfried was revealed as a master.
I want to read more about “The Adventures of Cynthia.” She reminds me of my friend Sema who had her car towed away from a “No Stopping” zone. “But I wasn’t stopped,” said the now-poorer Sema. “I was parked!”
Was the Cynthia whose hair caught on fire Cynthia Heimel? Her wild red hair was spectacular back in her New York days and the conversation has a Heimel ring.
Yes! It was she! It is my favorite Heimel story. And also, since it was my birthday, I was able to achieve heroism and put her hair out which is as good a birthday present as anyone can ever give you.
I think your “I don’t know” answer was still the right thing to say. I’ve only had to talk to a couple of blubbering middle aged men in my life, but I’d rather have a tooth pulled than go through that again.
I’m sure there’s a good reason that hot tub was empty. I bet Mensans know all kinds of things about the toxicity of hot tubs that the rest of us never bother to think about.
This inspired me to consider writing about AI generated jokes that some guy on NPR did a story on. The poor woman who claimed not to be "good at humor" spending her life trying to figure out a way to predictive text a joke from inputting 30 years of Onion jokes.
But I saw a hummingbird out my window. It landed on a wire. And another one just landed next to it. They are flying around the trellis where the dying cucmber vines are turning yellow and brown. I think there is only one kind of humming bird in Kansas City, the Ruby Throated. It's the only one east of the Rockies and north of the Texas boarder. They are out the window, so I can't actually hear the vibration of their wings, but it feels like I can.
I have to admit that I'm in Mensa, but there have been times in my life where I've expected to hear from them telling me that, unfortunately, they've been forced to downgrade me to Densa!!
You and me, Wendel...we leave those Mensans in our dust.
I intend to re-read that entire paragraph about the clown nose many times in order to re-experience and savour the brilliance. SO hysterical, this whole piece is. Thanks so much!!
Wow. Thank you for making my morning.
I not only laughed but I felt your discomfort. A brilliant piece, transcending Mensa standards.
This piece might be the only time I’ve ever laughed at a read clown nose.
*red
😂❤️ now to buy the dvd of The Aristocrats with your outtake.
I also see Aristocrats as a documentary on comics of that era. I thought Sarah Silverman had an interesting take as well. And Gilbert Gottfried was revealed as a master.
Oh, it’s terrific, enjoy!
I want to read more about “The Adventures of Cynthia.” She reminds me of my friend Sema who had her car towed away from a “No Stopping” zone. “But I wasn’t stopped,” said the now-poorer Sema. “I was parked!”
Love this piece so much, and I can’t wait to try out my new insult: “That man doesn’t have a jocular vein in his body.”
Merrill,
Was the Cynthia whose hair caught on fire Cynthia Heimel? Her wild red hair was spectacular back in her New York days and the conversation has a Heimel ring.
Yes! It was she! It is my favorite Heimel story. And also, since it was my birthday, I was able to achieve heroism and put her hair out which is as good a birthday present as anyone can ever give you.
You know, I was not expecting all thosntwists and turns in this story. This is how you tell a story. Thank you.
I really must check spelling and typos before I press enter.
I think your “I don’t know” answer was still the right thing to say. I’ve only had to talk to a couple of blubbering middle aged men in my life, but I’d rather have a tooth pulled than go through that again.
I’m sure there’s a good reason that hot tub was empty. I bet Mensans know all kinds of things about the toxicity of hot tubs that the rest of us never bother to think about.
I was there! You were lovably entertaining -- no joke!
What is the protocol for that? How does one do that?
This inspired me to consider writing about AI generated jokes that some guy on NPR did a story on. The poor woman who claimed not to be "good at humor" spending her life trying to figure out a way to predictive text a joke from inputting 30 years of Onion jokes.
But I saw a hummingbird out my window. It landed on a wire. And another one just landed next to it. They are flying around the trellis where the dying cucmber vines are turning yellow and brown. I think there is only one kind of humming bird in Kansas City, the Ruby Throated. It's the only one east of the Rockies and north of the Texas boarder. They are out the window, so I can't actually hear the vibration of their wings, but it feels like I can.
Great stuff as always Merrill.
I have to admit that I'm in Mensa, but there have been times in my life where I've expected to hear from them telling me that, unfortunately, they've been forced to downgrade me to Densa!!
Dig the writings!
Cintra! Queen of Substack!
Let us cross-promote one another in Sisterly fashion!
Busted out laughing and woke my husband from a nap. When he asked what was going on, I told him jocularity.