AMAZING TOP SECRET RAPID WEIGHT LOSS DIET PLAN. ABSOLUTELY FREE.
Tailored SPECIFICALLY for YOU. You will not believe how well it works!
I am about to free you from having to contemplate the idea of body positivity ever again. But before we begin, I need you to answer a few simple questions.
Are you someone who has tried everything in your power to lose weight? Did you try eating only fruit, then eating only protein, then eating only carbs, then give up and go back to eating only fruit? Have you also tried ALL the new fads: intermittent fasting, the all-day-breakfast diet, the swallowing without chewing diet, the Third World Diet, the diet where you eat all your meals in your car? And were you sometimes able to take off a few pounds for a couple of hours but then, by the very next meal, put all your weight right back on plus someone else’s!
How did this happen? Why does nothing work? What are you doing wrong?
Well, I am here to tell you that you are not only doing nothing wrong, you are doing every single thing right! Maybe a little TOO right!
It’s time for you to relax, and let me to give you all the tools you will need to lose all the weight you want and so much more .
In a couple of minutes, I am going to reveal absolutely everything you need to know to have the perfect body you dream about plus accessories to match. And it’s all based on indisputable scientific science facts.
I am also going to reveal for the first time the one food that you may already have in your kitchen that holds the magical key to all the weight loss you desire, effortlessly.
But first, perhaps you are wondering: why should you trust me?
Well, because I have spent my entire life focusing my considerable intellect on a series of rigorous ongoing studies with ALL of the top scientists for MOST if not all of the decades. That is why it saddens me to have to be the one to tell you that the people I worked with, side by side, are doing everything in their power to keep me from going rogue and sharing this information with you, the general public.
Up until now, all the important dietary secrets I am going to tell you have been sealed in ominous looking manila envelopes labeled “confidential” and then locked in weather-proof titanium vaults where they were available only to top government officials, as well as a small consortium of elites who only passed them on to billionaires at exclusive parties in elegant spas on private islands.
And the reason they want to keep all this revolutionary weight loss information from getting in to your hands is because ALL OF THE HOLLYWOOD A-LIST STARS RELY ON IT! They have been using it to perfect their looks and maintain their popularity so they can stay on top and leave you at the bottom. Naturally, they fear that when I make this information available to everyone, that you and your friends will use it to shed those last few pounds forever. Why would they want you to be able to share all of the great opportunities that they alone have been monopolizing all these years? Do you think they want to stand by, watching helplessly while you and your friends step into the spotlight that they alone were permitted to hog?
No. They do not.
Let me give it to you straight: The Diet-Exercise-Body-Dysmorphia-Industrial Complex (D.E.B.D.I) is a billion dollar a day industry. The last thing they want is for you to discover that you no longer need them! Why would they want you to learn how YOU can lose ALL THE WEIGHT YOU WANT eating ONLY THE FOODS YOU LOVE, as much as you want, whenever you want, then binge-watching all of your favorite true crime docu-dramas while shopping on-line for sexy new outfits that you will probably have to send back? No! The Corporate Heads of Big Beauty want you to remain pudgy and miserable. They do not want you sitting around, doing whatever you want, while the pounds and ounces of individual fat FLY RIGHT OFF OF YOUR BODY!
That’s right. The minute I receive your version of the information I am going to teach you, I will send you a very personal diet plan, absolutely free. This diet will be designed specifically and especially for you and you alone by my hard working team of award winning international scientists. Friends, this diet plan is going to work like magic to melt away the fat because it will be tailored SPECIFICALLY and ONLY to you and FOR YOU, based on your very special one-of-a-kind personal fat globule details.
Now can you understand why I am so excited for you? Let’s get started!
First we have to determine your specific body type. Have a look at these simple charts.
After you’ve made a careful selection, it’s time to tackle Part TWO!
The idea that YOU HAVE TWO BODY TYPES is the best kept secret in the international scientific beauty community. Because only after you identify BOTH of your body types will you be able to usher in the kind of rapid, transformative weight loss and breathtaking beauty enhancements you feared were out of your reach!
But wait! There’s more: Now we must zero in on YOUR PERSONAL FACIAL TYPE.
Along with your two body types, you also have at least TWO FACIAL TYPES, if not more. At their last multi-national consortium, scientists from a wide variety of the international sciences agreed that by selecting a second facial type based on the most commonly found face shapes in Australia (see chart below) THE FINAL KEY to permanent weight loss can be unlocked forever.
I give you my word that you will never again have to worry about your weight, your height or any of your accessories. With the help of all of the world’s top nutritional advisors, you will learn if you are a “Pear/ Rectangle/ Gluten Face/Heptagon” Or an “Inverted Triangle/ Red Grapes/ Sugar Face/Tear Drop.” As soon as we zero in on these definitive and unequivocal details, thenpair them with your personal alphabetized fat globule, we will submit them to our science lab and you will receive, absolutely free, a diet so amazingly right for you that it will actually ENCOURAGE you to keep on eating all your favorite,high fat, sugary foods while continuing to binge-watch all your favorite true crime docu-dramas, for as long as you like. Yet you will still end up with the kind of body that makes everyone jealous, not just for now but until the end of time.
Interested? I thought so! We are almost ready to begin.
Just one last thing: to make absolutely sure we have all our ducks in a row. I will need your credit card number. But not for the reason you think. No. That is not the reason. Honestly I am a little insulted that you would think that of me.
No, I need it for a scientific reason that you would never be able to predict.
.So don’t delay. Take advantage of this FREE OFFER immediately.… before all the deep state conglomerates from The Diet-Exercise-Body-Dysmorphia-Industrial Complex (D.E.B.D.I.) pull the switch on their high tech A.I. so they can manipulate the numbers on your credit card and directly effect your hormonal balance. Believe me, I have witnessed first hand how desperately the heads of Big Beauty want to keep you chained to their low quality ointments, salves, balms, lotions and gels. The last thing they want is for you to be free to take advantage of this specially designed diet so you can lose those last few pounds, while also gaining all the self respect plus accessories forever.
So I implore you: please do not delay. It’s just a matter of time until Big Beauty finds out about this offer and tries to shut us down.
PLUS if you place your order now, you will receive this special bonus:
I can hardly wait for you to join me and my award winning international scientists in this exhilarating journey of massive weight loss, enhanced beauty and breathtaking accessories.
Beauty beyond your wildest dreams is only moments away! Please do not delay.
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Wait, do I share my credit card info here in the comments or is there some kind of official form I need to fill out? I mean, I don’t care if people know my CC info but I definitely don’t want anyone to know my very personal fat globule type…
Okay, but this is a real thing too, right?