36 Comments
User's avatar
Heather's avatar

Wait, do I share my credit card info here in the comments or is there some kind of official form I need to fill out? I mean, I don’t care if people know my CC info but I definitely don’t want anyone to know my very personal fat globule type…

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Jeremy's avatar

Okay, but this is a real thing too, right?

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Emily Bailey's avatar

Fat Globule Type is the number one font used in dieting publications

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

TRUE!

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henriette's avatar

the only thing missing was the 50 minute video not giving you answers until the end and then you have to give money before you find out the true secret. I used to be a sucker for those. Those days are over and as usual you are brilliant. xoxo

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

I was basing this on those. Those drive me CRAZY. I wont let them start now....especially the animated ones with someone drawing on a pad...and that they wont tell you what they are selling. I was specifically thinking about those. THose drive me NUTS.

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henriette's avatar

and to think I was actually a sucker for those for a bit. Now I'm trying not to do those ones where you keep moving the page forward and they go on and on and on. just to find out everybody was happy in the end after living through the most unlucky thing imaginable.

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

i am happy to report that the one you are mentioning is not familiar to me!

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Craig Tyson Adams's avatar

I moved my scrolling finger, so I know I burned calories, or metabolism something. Thanks Merrill!

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That's no lady!'s avatar

Me too! I think I've lost at least half a ring size!

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Thank you Holly. That means a lot. I lost a lot of people over this one. And of course, like with everything, I have no idea why. But if you liked it, at least I have THAT.

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Marta Kepes's avatar

OMG Merrill! You are so beyond fucking BRILLIANT 🤩‼️You always make my day brighter ♥️

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Thanks Martha. You are very kind.

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That's no lady!'s avatar

Merrill you have changed my life.

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brian m's avatar

This made my rectangle sugar face laugh out loud

while I polished off a bag of mint chocolate Milanos!

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Morgan OCailleigh's avatar

I tried this diet.... or one like it, I think, I'm almost positive it was fat globule oriented. ( What is a fat globule anyway...??? Sounds disgusting )

Wait, let me find my credit card statement... 🙄🤣😉

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Haaa. (I think)

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Morgan OCailleigh's avatar

I'm a cynic...🤣

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Kelli's avatar

I was seriously worried that this was not satire. It's hard to tell, the actual weight loss scams are not more subtle than the joke

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Haaa. Yes I know. I was trying to walk that line. But if THIS seemed real to you, my advice to you then is DONT SEND YOUR MONEY TO ANY WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAMS.

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Kelli's avatar

No worries there, I'm saving my money to get rich selling essential oils. 😝

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Bill Southern's avatar

Is it wrong that I'm craving a pear right now?

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Yes.

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Beth Pearson's avatar

Big Beauty is REAL? I'd heard whispers here and there, but didn't trust them. It was too hard to wrap my square head around. Thank you for the enlightening but terrifying news.

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Mavis Jukes's avatar

Could I borrow your credit card please? Thanking you in advance.

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CMM's avatar

I had no idea that all of this was so intricately intertwined. Now I’m certain that I’ll have to deal with my Pear, Apple, Carrot & Curvy body. This will replace that silly workout regime and diet.

CMM

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Welcome aboard, CMM. The path to a perfect body lies ahead.

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Doug's avatar

In the 6 foods that will naturally kill the parasites in my body are the pictures the foods I will need to eat or are they pictures of the parasites? Because if that’s going to be my new diet, I’m not going to send you my credit card.

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Those are the pictures of the food that you feed the parasites so that they leave you alone!

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