John Salley, NBA Star and cannapreneur, is featured in our documentary, "NECTARBALL: The Story of Cannabis." When I recently told him we would love to take him on a mountain bike ride, and he could use my ebike, he said, "I am 7-foot tall. They don't make bikes for me. It's like a squirrel asking a giraffe to do squirrel things." I couldn't stop laughing.
“along with the wonders, nature has a lot of bad ideas” my favorite sentence - very much enjoyed the squirrel hiding nuts on your dog - wow that’s a sentence and the Betsy impression
Love it! My work on the San Francisco Bay Ferries has turned me into a big bird fan. We have a lot of sea gulls, and my favorites (if I really do have a favorite) the crows and pigeons. It is all very transactional, the preferred transaction being accomplished with peanuts. There are the occasional herons, and the flocks of pelicans the fly by, reminding me in their slow flight, of B52s. They add pleasure to every day. 🐦
By hilarious do you mean helpless and uselessly struggling to survive, desperate for the generosity of an enormous creature with a plastic syringe of formula? I love helping the baby wildlife too. Thanks for your writing, it is always so great.
No. They don't get hilarious until they are independent. Its the combination of no facial expressions and frenzied furtive actions that makes me laugh. It's a little like Peter Sellers in the Pink Panther.
This is my favorite ever. Gorgeous illustrations, the subject that never bores (animals, any and all), and Betsy Salkind (I am still crying). I love this so much.
Too good! I rescued a tiny baby squirrel in my yard (fell out of its nest?) when it climbed on my foot for warmth. It was very clingy and attentive, nothing like the teenage squirrels you describe. Took it to a squirrel rescue. My sister reminded me that my mom, who'd just passed, said she always wanted to come back after she was gone to live in my yard. "You gave mom away!" she told me, and we never spoke of it again.
All animals, when they are tiny, are very docile. But the instincts kick in when they hit juvenile status,I love how people think their mothers are returning in all these forms. I had one lady explain to me that the erratic flickering porch light going on and off was her mom. (and all I could think of is "She came all the way back from the dead and the best she could do to communicate is become a porch light with a bad connection??"
Each time the light flickers it’s Mom, pointing out that she had to turn off lights for you that many times. My parenting grudges will be taken to my grave and my kids won’t be surprised.
Hi, Merrill. I still remember the first time I read something you wrote about squirrels. It was a short piece in the first (?) Late Night book (can't remember the title)--in short, quite a long time ago. As I recall, it was about your dog's relationship with the squirrels in your yard. I still remember it because it made me laugh out loud. Squirrels are god's lawn jesters, and I'm glad to see that you still consider them a fit subject for your articles.
Thanks Michael. I was thinking I should have put a link to that in the piece. It was (MY)Dog Stan reciting a poem. And the still in that book were from this video. https://youtu.be/h_FUF1Mv0sk?si=SNrFu0CJTPEavU0M
"front yard nut distribution center"!! I love this.
Well done and what a trick to feed formula to an immature squirrel. How kind of you to volunteer. This reminded me of my own pet squirrel back in the seventies. Snoopy would come down from the trees in our yard when called. I immitated a squirrels sort of clucking/ clicking sound and he would sit on my thigh as I sat cross legged on the front lawn feeding him peanuts. He would wait for me to open the peanut and then take it, examine carefully and eat. I can still feel his little weight on my leg as I sat very still. There was indeed no facial expression but this was during the Nixon administration so it was a big club
We did this for a couple years.
Happy Holidays to you and yours!
(R.I.P andre braugher, Homicide was some well writ tv)
Thank you Brian. That is very sweet---you and Snoopy.But I always feel the need to caution everyone, even after the fact, be really careful with squirrels. They BITE. And they have teeth that can crack a nut. I didnt realize they got their stoic facial expressions from the Nixon administration!. Good to know!
Thin, bony squirrel feet are the absolute best. I feed our squirrels peanuts in the shell and they rest their little feet on my finger while munching. Never too much squirrel.
Three years in and so far so good. Though we now have a Yorkie (and can’t even say the word squirrel out loud) so I’m just leaving peanuts out for the furry kiddles.
Squirrels are so funny! They really seem to enjoy tormenting the dogs. I really tried to view the squirrel impression, but YouTube isn’t cooperating today.
True. Anyone who works with squirrels agrees you dont let them live in the house. They shred. They claw. They poop and poop. They are very poop forward.
Also, there’s no such thing as too much squirrel info.
Let the record show that mermcoelho is ENCOURAGING ME.
John Salley, NBA Star and cannapreneur, is featured in our documentary, "NECTARBALL: The Story of Cannabis." When I recently told him we would love to take him on a mountain bike ride, and he could use my ebike, he said, "I am 7-foot tall. They don't make bikes for me. It's like a squirrel asking a giraffe to do squirrel things." I couldn't stop laughing.
“...sad,perplexed,biscuit-deprived monkeys..” Something must be done! A charity, perhaps. Or maybe just t-shirts. 🤣
Is there a need for contributions for any of the aforementioned?
You can donate to The California WIldlife Center. They are always needing donations. https://30583.thankyou4caring.org/donate
You can talk to me about squirrels any time you want.
“along with the wonders, nature has a lot of bad ideas” my favorite sentence - very much enjoyed the squirrel hiding nuts on your dog - wow that’s a sentence and the Betsy impression
Betsy is one of the few comedians whose act is permanently set in my brain for a regular amount of recall.
Love it! My work on the San Francisco Bay Ferries has turned me into a big bird fan. We have a lot of sea gulls, and my favorites (if I really do have a favorite) the crows and pigeons. It is all very transactional, the preferred transaction being accomplished with peanuts. There are the occasional herons, and the flocks of pelicans the fly by, reminding me in their slow flight, of B52s. They add pleasure to every day. 🐦
I love birds too. We get a big variety of bird babies at the wildlife center. And they are all hilarious.
By hilarious do you mean helpless and uselessly struggling to survive, desperate for the generosity of an enormous creature with a plastic syringe of formula? I love helping the baby wildlife too. Thanks for your writing, it is always so great.
No. They don't get hilarious until they are independent. Its the combination of no facial expressions and frenzied furtive actions that makes me laugh. It's a little like Peter Sellers in the Pink Panther.
This is my favorite ever. Gorgeous illustrations, the subject that never bores (animals, any and all), and Betsy Salkind (I am still crying). I love this so much.
Too good! I rescued a tiny baby squirrel in my yard (fell out of its nest?) when it climbed on my foot for warmth. It was very clingy and attentive, nothing like the teenage squirrels you describe. Took it to a squirrel rescue. My sister reminded me that my mom, who'd just passed, said she always wanted to come back after she was gone to live in my yard. "You gave mom away!" she told me, and we never spoke of it again.
All animals, when they are tiny, are very docile. But the instincts kick in when they hit juvenile status,I love how people think their mothers are returning in all these forms. I had one lady explain to me that the erratic flickering porch light going on and off was her mom. (and all I could think of is "She came all the way back from the dead and the best she could do to communicate is become a porch light with a bad connection??"
At least she wasn't a car!
Each time the light flickers it’s Mom, pointing out that she had to turn off lights for you that many times. My parenting grudges will be taken to my grave and my kids won’t be surprised.
Betsy Salkind’s impression is fully committed!
It is UNPARALLELED.
Hi, Merrill. I still remember the first time I read something you wrote about squirrels. It was a short piece in the first (?) Late Night book (can't remember the title)--in short, quite a long time ago. As I recall, it was about your dog's relationship with the squirrels in your yard. I still remember it because it made me laugh out loud. Squirrels are god's lawn jesters, and I'm glad to see that you still consider them a fit subject for your articles.
Thanks Michael. I was thinking I should have put a link to that in the piece. It was (MY)Dog Stan reciting a poem. And the still in that book were from this video. https://youtu.be/h_FUF1Mv0sk?si=SNrFu0CJTPEavU0M
Thank you. I don't think I've ever seen the full video. Hilarious!
Oh, sweet Stan.
I'm a huge squirrel fan, especially when they sploot. Thanks for taking care of the ones who need help!
"front yard nut distribution center"!! I love this.
Well done and what a trick to feed formula to an immature squirrel. How kind of you to volunteer. This reminded me of my own pet squirrel back in the seventies. Snoopy would come down from the trees in our yard when called. I immitated a squirrels sort of clucking/ clicking sound and he would sit on my thigh as I sat cross legged on the front lawn feeding him peanuts. He would wait for me to open the peanut and then take it, examine carefully and eat. I can still feel his little weight on my leg as I sat very still. There was indeed no facial expression but this was during the Nixon administration so it was a big club
We did this for a couple years.
Happy Holidays to you and yours!
(R.I.P andre braugher, Homicide was some well writ tv)
Thank you Brian. That is very sweet---you and Snoopy.But I always feel the need to caution everyone, even after the fact, be really careful with squirrels. They BITE. And they have teeth that can crack a nut. I didnt realize they got their stoic facial expressions from the Nixon administration!. Good to know!
Yes! beware it is risky feeding a squirrel. thank you
Thin, bony squirrel feet are the absolute best. I feed our squirrels peanuts in the shell and they rest their little feet on my finger while munching. Never too much squirrel.
Be advised: Proceed with caution because they DO bite. There is a reason for that. It is because they are squirrels.
Three years in and so far so good. Though we now have a Yorkie (and can’t even say the word squirrel out loud) so I’m just leaving peanuts out for the furry kiddles.
In the earliest incarnation of the Letterman show, I made this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_FUF1Mv0sk
I remember it just about line by line
OMG I remember this too. And those are the exact words Charlotte says to the squirrels. I think she knew Stan.
Squirrels are so funny! They really seem to enjoy tormenting the dogs. I really tried to view the squirrel impression, but YouTube isn’t cooperating today.
Google. Betsy Salkind, squirrel
True. Anyone who works with squirrels agrees you dont let them live in the house. They shred. They claw. They poop and poop. They are very poop forward.
Yes...odd...and yet of all the odd things that can be said about this kind of guy, this is one of the best!