My mom owned that low-calorie book that she picked up in the ´impulse buy’ cattle chute at the grocery checkout. She was genetically skinny. I took after my (« large boned ») father’s side of the family. So of course my relationship to food is totally screwed up. Thanks for the « head note ». Not only did it make me laugh, but it gave me something new to worry about-my gall bladder!
In my 1960s childhood I often heard the phrase, "Eat you plate because there are people starving in Armenia." Have you heard of Alan Sherman? A very funny song-parodist from the same era who said that he was "fed" the same advice, which explained his heftiness.
I formulated an idea some time ago that while there are people who take overeating and under-eating to extremes for the most part our health and our shape are pretty much the way they are, and we have very little control over it. I have some friends who are super thin and look incredibly healthy and probably get all sorts of glowing praise at the doctor's office, but they eat an astonishing amount of food, a lot of which is junk. So, based on this I try to eat a healthy diet, but can't be bothered to county calories or go to any extreme measures when it comes to the food I consume. As for the recipe, I do love the loosey-goosey style, which is my favorite style of recipe. I have an ancient vegetarian cookbook that's like that, which I love.
You may be right. I have been fighting with a barrel shaped Eastern European woman who has been trying to take over my body since I was 8. I can tie her to a chair in the next room and put a gag on her. But sooner or later she gets free and shows up, glaring at me.
Oh this is horrible and hilarious. I will not be making those cookies because if I bake, I eat all of it, and it hurts.
I do like you’re rule to not eat anything you’d greet. But then I wouldn’t be able to eat my garden, because I babble non stop at my veggies. Thank you for making me feel less weird about my food hang ups.
If I have learned anything in life (which is questionable) it is that (almost) 100% of human females have hang ups about food and weight. It is just hammered into us and we give up and play along.
I dont really know what ablation means, even after just looking it up. But I hope you are recovering painlessly. I dont understand hospital kitchens. When I was there that time, one meal was soup that was so salty I couldnt eat it. There is not a health advisor anywhere who doesnt tell you to cut back on sodium. I guess the kitchens in hospitals are run by people who have never met the medical staff. I dont know how that ever happened but it seems very American to me.
stray voltage leaking into ones left atrium via the four pulmonary arteries can cause a heartbeat irregularity. A bit of heat applied around each stops this. Very common
and quick painless recovery. Thank you for your words, these especially
I was a skinny kid, ate everything they fed me with no issues until I turned about 13. By 14 I was on the Atkins diet( the one where I ate scrambled eggs twice a day). Then at 15 in high school we has swimming for a marking period of gym ( first hour though, so I wore the drowned rat look for three months). This combination of diet and exercise returned me to a slimmer version of myself that pretty much lasted until menopause. Now I only wish I was as fat now as I thought I was at 25.
As you note, because I am a female I have a very bad relationship with food which causes me to do things like linger yearningly outside grocery store ice cream freezers. I would have never been able to eat as you have for so many years. The recent introduction of the “food noise” concept is exactly my problem and rather miraculously seems to have been solved by Zepbound. And yes, that is really the name. If you are need of a howling good laugh, check out the book by James Lileks, the Gallery of Regrettable Food. Every time I open it I laugh so hard I cry.
I just had surgery a few weeks ago to remove a kidney stone. Despite my conviction that I did not live a kidney-stone lifestyle, they operated anyway. Turns out there's a kind you can get (which did turn out to be the kind I had) from eating spinach and almonds. I MEAN.
Hi Merrill! Love your stories & thank you for the recipe! I first found you here because of your Bob Dylan Christmas lights stories, so great. We have since gone by to see them each year… Anyway, so they never told you or I guess they just didn’t know what caused the gall bladder infection, since they were wrong about your diet? I found out last year I have gallstones, but I do have a poor diet… too many sweets/carbs… I’m almost 62 & found this out last year after my first ever trip to the ER with kidney stones…
It was kind of clear to me that diet does NOT cause ALL gallbladder problems. They had no clue. (They removed the gall bladder. I still have no idea what went wrong, but I know it wasnt from pizza and hotdogs!)
I am glad to hear that ha, I have never eaten right, though I know I need to do better. Now with kidney stones, gall stones & pre diabetic… & they have the lists of causes of kidney stones & another contradictory list of what causes gall stones… I truly don’t think they know.
Anyway, good to hear from you, I so enjoy your stories, they always cheer me up… it’s like the comfort of reading a letter from an old friend!
My wife, whom I feel to be one of the best shot or long order cooks currently walking this dimension, uses the intangible ingredient of ‘love’ when she prepares meals. She cooks with love and it is evident with every bite.
Great post, as always, Merrill! Many memories and some good laughs! Even though I am a "boy" we share many things in common. As I have probably mentioned before, I believe we are of similar age, which allows for remembering things of our lifetimes that have not been experienced by a younger generation. Or two... Thank you, as always!
My mom owned that low-calorie book that she picked up in the ´impulse buy’ cattle chute at the grocery checkout. She was genetically skinny. I took after my (« large boned ») father’s side of the family. So of course my relationship to food is totally screwed up. Thanks for the « head note ». Not only did it make me laugh, but it gave me something new to worry about-my gall bladder!
Girl! Same.
In my 1960s childhood I often heard the phrase, "Eat you plate because there are people starving in Armenia." Have you heard of Alan Sherman? A very funny song-parodist from the same era who said that he was "fed" the same advice, which explained his heftiness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8o_LrMWZGQM
He had another song (Little Butterball) which referenced the Metrecal cookie (to me it was ooky).
So. This is brilliant. Sad and funny. Best combo. Can we make it a triple combo. Did you do these delicious (yeah) illustrations?????
Thank you for liking them. If you want to see a lot more of them, I wrote a graphic novel/memoiry thing. Its called WE SAW SCENERY.https://www.amazon.com/We-Saw-Scenery-Diaries-Merrill/dp/1616209038
I have that book!
I formulated an idea some time ago that while there are people who take overeating and under-eating to extremes for the most part our health and our shape are pretty much the way they are, and we have very little control over it. I have some friends who are super thin and look incredibly healthy and probably get all sorts of glowing praise at the doctor's office, but they eat an astonishing amount of food, a lot of which is junk. So, based on this I try to eat a healthy diet, but can't be bothered to county calories or go to any extreme measures when it comes to the food I consume. As for the recipe, I do love the loosey-goosey style, which is my favorite style of recipe. I have an ancient vegetarian cookbook that's like that, which I love.
You may be right. I have been fighting with a barrel shaped Eastern European woman who has been trying to take over my body since I was 8. I can tie her to a chair in the next room and put a gag on her. But sooner or later she gets free and shows up, glaring at me.
Classic Markoe hilarious inspiring informative! Xx
Oh this is horrible and hilarious. I will not be making those cookies because if I bake, I eat all of it, and it hurts.
I do like you’re rule to not eat anything you’d greet. But then I wouldn’t be able to eat my garden, because I babble non stop at my veggies. Thank you for making me feel less weird about my food hang ups.
If I have learned anything in life (which is questionable) it is that (almost) 100% of human females have hang ups about food and weight. It is just hammered into us and we give up and play along.
I really wish there was a comment edit so I could fix my spelling. (Your).
Cardiac ablation last week. Minor thing,
outpatient but all day so I was handed a hospital menu.
First brunch item listed.
Bacon and eggs with buttered toast.
I have no idea what is real anymore but your work with art included is double the fun. You seated with the diet book and celery re-hung the moon.
You will find me at the Victorian Bakery.
Friday is buy 2 peanut butter cookies get one free.
I dont really know what ablation means, even after just looking it up. But I hope you are recovering painlessly. I dont understand hospital kitchens. When I was there that time, one meal was soup that was so salty I couldnt eat it. There is not a health advisor anywhere who doesnt tell you to cut back on sodium. I guess the kitchens in hospitals are run by people who have never met the medical staff. I dont know how that ever happened but it seems very American to me.
stray voltage leaking into ones left atrium via the four pulmonary arteries can cause a heartbeat irregularity. A bit of heat applied around each stops this. Very common
and quick painless recovery. Thank you for your words, these especially
I was a skinny kid, ate everything they fed me with no issues until I turned about 13. By 14 I was on the Atkins diet( the one where I ate scrambled eggs twice a day). Then at 15 in high school we has swimming for a marking period of gym ( first hour though, so I wore the drowned rat look for three months). This combination of diet and exercise returned me to a slimmer version of myself that pretty much lasted until menopause. Now I only wish I was as fat now as I thought I was at 25.
Um. What was I saying?
Oh shit, lost the thread.
I like that. I also wish I was as fat as I thought I was at....even 35.
As you note, because I am a female I have a very bad relationship with food which causes me to do things like linger yearningly outside grocery store ice cream freezers. I would have never been able to eat as you have for so many years. The recent introduction of the “food noise” concept is exactly my problem and rather miraculously seems to have been solved by Zepbound. And yes, that is really the name. If you are need of a howling good laugh, check out the book by James Lileks, the Gallery of Regrettable Food. Every time I open it I laugh so hard I cry.
I just had surgery a few weeks ago to remove a kidney stone. Despite my conviction that I did not live a kidney-stone lifestyle, they operated anyway. Turns out there's a kind you can get (which did turn out to be the kind I had) from eating spinach and almonds. I MEAN.
Yikes. CLEARLY pizzza and hot dogs are being singled out for blame for no good reason.
Damn it. Now I have to reread the whole thing to find the word "accelerando"
You said in an earlier, that almost 100% of human females have hangups about food weight. I don’t think a truer thing has been said. And just oooof.
Thanks for finding the humor in it. I think it’s a good stop toward exposing its insidiousness.
Yeah. After you read an interview with a model who is whining about all of it, you realize it really is ridiculously insidious.
Hi Merrill! Love your stories & thank you for the recipe! I first found you here because of your Bob Dylan Christmas lights stories, so great. We have since gone by to see them each year… Anyway, so they never told you or I guess they just didn’t know what caused the gall bladder infection, since they were wrong about your diet? I found out last year I have gallstones, but I do have a poor diet… too many sweets/carbs… I’m almost 62 & found this out last year after my first ever trip to the ER with kidney stones…
Thanks for the stories ❤️👏👏👏👏👏
It was kind of clear to me that diet does NOT cause ALL gallbladder problems. They had no clue. (They removed the gall bladder. I still have no idea what went wrong, but I know it wasnt from pizza and hotdogs!)
I am glad to hear that ha, I have never eaten right, though I know I need to do better. Now with kidney stones, gall stones & pre diabetic… & they have the lists of causes of kidney stones & another contradictory list of what causes gall stones… I truly don’t think they know.
Anyway, good to hear from you, I so enjoy your stories, they always cheer me up… it’s like the comfort of reading a letter from an old friend!
My wife, whom I feel to be one of the best shot or long order cooks currently walking this dimension, uses the intangible ingredient of ‘love’ when she prepares meals. She cooks with love and it is evident with every bite.
You my friend, appear to comedy with love.
Aww. THANKS. You are correct. I love comedy almost as much as I love animals. If comedy had a neck, they'd be neck and neck.
Great post, as always, Merrill! Many memories and some good laughs! Even though I am a "boy" we share many things in common. As I have probably mentioned before, I believe we are of similar age, which allows for remembering things of our lifetimes that have not been experienced by a younger generation. Or two... Thank you, as always!