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Amy's avatar
May 26Edited

“Hearty Drinking Men” the absolute perfect coda to the best description of national holidays ever.

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Kathy Notaro's avatar

And if you’re drinking enough beer, you can bring on a family disagreement or more

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Another EXCELLENT point I ignored. After mattresses, family disagreements are the very heart of American holiday celebration.

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Elayne Boosler's avatar

Especially on mothers day.

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mermcoelho's avatar

Holidays are so weird. I like having a three day weekend. If they ever make DTs bday a holiday, I will celebrate by taking laxatives and having a massive shit. Sorry for that image.

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Haa. That’s an interesting way to celebrate.

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Doug's avatar

I just wished I had listened to “Hearty Drinking Men” in the morning before the quality donut stores closed up for the day.

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Ken Grace's avatar

Every day is Mattress Day if you try hard enough.

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Andrea Stein's avatar

On several Memorial Days in the mid-90s, I would think about barbecuing my husband on our mattress. Does that count?

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

What kind of sauce were you thinking?

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Andrea Stein's avatar

Something very spicy that disguises the taste of perfidy.

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Good choice. Also perfidy. Great word.

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Andrea Stein's avatar

In this particular case, “betrayal” doesn’t cut the mustard.

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Elayne Boosler's avatar

Excellent additions and "I had a dream" for mattresses just puts me on the floor. I forgot how much I loved this song of Andy's, and the video, spectacular. I am so glad you included it. I will happily have this playing in my head all day. He is so talented, and this is such a GREAT GREAT piece of music. Non happy memorial day to you both. Btw, if they ever do declare a mattress holiday day, you know what won't be on sale then? Mattresses. That's right: discordia as always. It will be a day for car sales.

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Claire März's avatar

I always assumed all mattress stores are money-laundering fronts. Am I wrong?

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Funny....there was one out here at the juncture of Pacific Coast Highway and a canyon pass thru that Andy and I accused of this, every single time we drove past it. No one was ever inside except one guy, who we thought was probably Matt. After about a year, the store disappeared and was replaced by a golfcart emporium and an indoor golf situation. We never see anyone in there either.

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Claire März's avatar

How many mattresses do people buy anyway? The number of stores does not seem to correspond to the buying population, at least to me. But I'm bad with numbers and such. Since we're on the subject, the last time my partner and I went to buy one, the saleswoman, who was about 25, was giving us a pitch about why one particular brand is guaranteed to last a certain number of years and ergo worth the extra money, and she says "So you {and here she pauses to look at me, looks over to my partner, looks back at me} will never have to buy another one." Whoa! She had us pegged for gomers. We were in our 50s.

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Wendel Potter's avatar

They certainly have been since January 20th

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Kathy Notaro's avatar

Don’t forget the beer.

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Wow. You’re right. I DID forget the beer. Might have to get back in there and add a new paragraph. Thanks. All American holidays are beer intensive.

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Morgan OCailleigh's avatar

add in the seasonal "white sales"

< something I never understood >

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Liza Blue's avatar

One take home message from your insightful post - never pay full price for a mattress, just wait for the next holiday.

Also, who buys a mattress? My impression is that they never wear out. My other assumption is that there is no market for a used mattress. What happens to old mattresses? Will it be picked up if you leave it curbside? If you buy a new mattress with the store dispose of your old one?.

Last thought on mattresses. WE were moving into our new house - an epically steamy day and the mover, drenched with sweat (a drop or two might have christened the mattress), commented, "this is where the magic happens." I almost upchucked and reconsidered the configuration of our house.

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Beth Pearson's avatar

I have been delighted to see at least one ad ( I feel like there've probably been more) that connected "I have a dream" with their mattress sale. Something along the lines of "You can have a dream, too!"

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Elayne Boosler's avatar

Good grief..

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brian m's avatar

"Celebrated" at my wifes peoples place on what felt like trump island. Took the dog in a separate car as an escape card.

Stone cold sober too due to the eliquis and lopressor my passive aggressive cardiologist insists on, the little highly skilled prick.

Interestingly the only safe subject did seem to be salty meats. I guessed some sort of pork.

I left out the carnal aspect. Loving the New word Monday thing too.

Tempted to google" tenderloin with jezebel sauce" but saving that for Christmas when I will price a new mattress, though I have always suspected the virgin Mary

really just wanted a back rub.

Thank you for these, I might just make it through this administration!

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

I feel lucky that I don’t connect to any mandatory MAGA people. But sounds like you handle it well. Carry on.

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Lily's avatar

Seriously, this song is a masterpiece. And there's a wonderful moment when you realize it's not going end too soon.

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Lily: You are correct. And for further masterpieces, do a little dive into Andy Prieboy on You Tube or Spotify or especially on Andyprieboy.com where you can download FOR FREE his musical, “White Trash Wins Lotto”:….which is just a hilarious and gorgeous deconstruction of the music industry framed as Gilbert and Sullivan take of the Axl Rose story. I guarantee you will be blown away.

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Lily's avatar

Mind has been blowing as predicted since yesterday. And throughout the valuable layers of interview he gave to L Parker.

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Yes. They won some kind of press award for that.

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Lily's avatar

He said exceptional things. Exceptional heart.

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Lily's avatar

I wonder how far back the Mattress Day taboo on Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter goes. Did it originate with the Puritans.

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