I indulged in imaginary boyfriends. Specifically Prince, and John Taylor from Duran Duran. I was besotted. There is no written evidence of this however- I burned all my teen age diaries when I was in my twenties, absolutely horrified by my adolescent ravings. So embarrassing. Thank you for being brave and for saving the evidence, and illustrating it. I’m ordering your book. (Can’t wait!)
Merrill, I love you so much. I, however, wish to note that I, myself, had Jean Paul Belmondo as MY boyfriend. Yes, he left Ursula Andress for me, and yes, he loved me even in my school uniform, and we only had the slight problem in our passionate love affair in the Paris cafe, which was that I had to be home the next week for my geometry midterm. But he didn't mind!!!!!! --PP
How funny a rom-com would it be to follow these mostly chaste totally inappropriate couples on dates and to dances. A middle school dance, and all the girls have brought their famous boyfriends.
I only just saw your reply, because I am a simpleton who never noticed that I had "notifications," but yes, this would be TOO FUNNY, also the fumbling "sex" scenes involving fully clothed "kissing" and maybe some puzzled "man lying on top of woman" activity.
Oooh, your teen infatuation was far more sophisticated than mine. I kissed my John Travolta "Saturday Night Fever" poster. I still have it... frosty gloss kiss marks included.
My sister and I (ages 15 and 13) were at a Beatles Cow Palace concert, but in 1965. You're right, the screaming was unreal. Dammit! So frustrating. BUT there we were in the same (vast) room as the Beatles. At one point a fan scaled the chain link fence behind the stage, grabbed John's cap from his head, and jumped into the audience. Without missing a beat, John grabbed a cap from one of the cops and put it on. (I once found a video of this on YouTube, but I can't find it now.)
This is adorable and so relatable. How did I not know about this book? I had only imaginary boyfriends until graduate school, seriously. And I thought men looked like Ken "down there" until I was too old to think that. (I went to all girls Catholic high school, so...). Merrill, when are you going to publish The Early Emails of Merrill Markoe, cuz everything you write is hilarious.
The only physical fight I have ever been involved in was prompted by a girl, a Pat Boone fan if gives you any idea of who I was dealing with, who disrespected my fiancé, Elvis. I tackled her, we rolled around in the grass and she got on top of me but I told everybody I won.
Now THIS better be in your new book. I have never heard a crazier story. Except for the idea of you and Elvis. Did Bob threaten him with a welding rod?
What memories! I saw the Beatles the following year in Boston, and like you, I never heard a note! I did, however, get my picture on the front page of the paper the next day, of my friend and I screaming our heads off!
John was my choice too, with Paul as a close second. I still have my schedule of pre-Beatles concert prep when I was 14. One month of no chips or chocolate to clear up my skin, building to concert day choices of wardrobe, makeup and nail polish. JUST IN CASE I bumped into them.
Maybe he is your imaginary boyfriend!!
AWW. M.I.B....I miss reading posts by you on the haunted and gaping dark chasm that used to be known as Twitter.
I indulged in imaginary boyfriends. Specifically Prince, and John Taylor from Duran Duran. I was besotted. There is no written evidence of this however- I burned all my teen age diaries when I was in my twenties, absolutely horrified by my adolescent ravings. So embarrassing. Thank you for being brave and for saving the evidence, and illustrating it. I’m ordering your book. (Can’t wait!)
Aww thanks. I hope you like it.
The book which arrived right after I ordered it ( well a day after I ordered it) is so awesome
This is so great.
oh my god Michael Ian Black and I think the same thoughts
wow....what the faduck was that? did you get through adolescense?
i know i sure didnt. if only i got it all down on paper i could have maybe put together 10 panels with an A , B and C story.
Wonderful!
( your book just made my list!)
Merrill, I love you so much. I, however, wish to note that I, myself, had Jean Paul Belmondo as MY boyfriend. Yes, he left Ursula Andress for me, and yes, he loved me even in my school uniform, and we only had the slight problem in our passionate love affair in the Paris cafe, which was that I had to be home the next week for my geometry midterm. But he didn't mind!!!!!! --PP
How funny a rom-com would it be to follow these mostly chaste totally inappropriate couples on dates and to dances. A middle school dance, and all the girls have brought their famous boyfriends.
I only just saw your reply, because I am a simpleton who never noticed that I had "notifications," but yes, this would be TOO FUNNY, also the fumbling "sex" scenes involving fully clothed "kissing" and maybe some puzzled "man lying on top of woman" activity.
Oooh, your teen infatuation was far more sophisticated than mine. I kissed my John Travolta "Saturday Night Fever" poster. I still have it... frosty gloss kiss marks included.
“whatever this is that I am still pretending to be now”
I like that
Well, its complete!!
My sister and I (ages 15 and 13) were at a Beatles Cow Palace concert, but in 1965. You're right, the screaming was unreal. Dammit! So frustrating. BUT there we were in the same (vast) room as the Beatles. At one point a fan scaled the chain link fence behind the stage, grabbed John's cap from his head, and jumped into the audience. Without missing a beat, John grabbed a cap from one of the cops and put it on. (I once found a video of this on YouTube, but I can't find it now.)
This is adorable and so relatable. How did I not know about this book? I had only imaginary boyfriends until graduate school, seriously. And I thought men looked like Ken "down there" until I was too old to think that. (I went to all girls Catholic high school, so...). Merrill, when are you going to publish The Early Emails of Merrill Markoe, cuz everything you write is hilarious.
Wow. What a great compliment. Thank you so much. And I like that idea. I wonder what the early e mails say. I have to go see if I can find them.
I love this and loved the book!
The only physical fight I have ever been involved in was prompted by a girl, a Pat Boone fan if gives you any idea of who I was dealing with, who disrespected my fiancé, Elvis. I tackled her, we rolled around in the grass and she got on top of me but I told everybody I won.
Now THIS better be in your new book. I have never heard a crazier story. Except for the idea of you and Elvis. Did Bob threaten him with a welding rod?
I dumped Elvis and moved on. Bob has never known about the engagement.
This is perfect in every way. I feel seen. Also LOVED We Saw Scenery. Laughed and cried.
Nothing wrong with an imaginary boyfriend. You have me thinking that maybe I should conjure one up now.
They can be a vast improvement over the other kind.
Between “John and me” not between “john and I” an error that distracts me. Otherwise so love this story! Just cracks me up.
What memories! I saw the Beatles the following year in Boston, and like you, I never heard a note! I did, however, get my picture on the front page of the paper the next day, of my friend and I screaming our heads off!
PS Happy birthday tomorrow!
Thanks! It's already a top ten birthday!
John Lennon was my imaginary boyfriend too! But, sadly, into my 20s and maybe 30s. I love this stuff, thanks for keeping it coming!
John was my choice too, with Paul as a close second. I still have my schedule of pre-Beatles concert prep when I was 14. One month of no chips or chocolate to clear up my skin, building to concert day choices of wardrobe, makeup and nail polish. JUST IN CASE I bumped into them.
I love this! You were ON it. And the nail polish color would have cinched the deal!