41 Comments

I know he is still seething from this!! I screamed out loud and threw my head back with delight!! casually dinnering this bro is the most punk rock thing anyone has ever done. Bravo.

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loved this, Merrill

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And we read and discuss and enjoy your pieces every ding dong day, Mr. T!

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aw shucks

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Holy shit, this was fantastic.

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Merrill Markoe for President!!

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I clung to every syllable! Totally, totally, totally brilliant.

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You do DRY CLEANING??? Humblebrag. I knew you when.

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Yikes. Brilliant as usual. Did you ask him if he has a dog?

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No. I also did not ask him how he felt about the line "Everything about it is appealing." in the song "No Business like Show Business."

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Darn.

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He was attempting to impregnate you, but the pear sorbet with fresh ground cinnamon temporarily numbed his ovipositor.

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Maybe he was "wookin' po nub in all da wong pwaces."

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Wow! Thank you for taking us on this surreal ride with you. Years ago, I was hired by a misogynistic show runner who openly treated me with disdain from day one. At the end of the season, he called me at home to tell me that he wasn’t picking up my option. He said, “I thought you’d rather hear it from me instead of your agent.” I thought, “Umm, no. I would’ve rather heard it from someone I like who likes me.” Friends and family said he called me personally because he enjoyed the act of letting me go. But that wasn’t the vibe or his tone. Now, after reading your story, I really wonder if it was to reclaim his power with me. I was the only writer who didn’t suck up to him during the entire season. Not because I didn’t want to, I’m just extremely bad at being disingenuous. I’m an animal person so I was nice to his dog as a way to bond to with him, but that didn’t really work. So, again, I thank you for sharing this story, not only because it was highly entertaining on many levels, but it also helped me finally understand what happened when I dealt with a very wealthy man who didn’t impress me or intimidate me and he knew it.

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Yes, I think your story might share this punchline. He clearly got some kind of charge telling you that HE was NOT picking up your option. If it came thru the agent, it might have been said “They aren’t picking up your option” and HE wouldn’t have gotten the credit and the electric charge of knowing you know it was HIM.

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Makes sense. At least he got “Me too’d” after that. I wonder if the studio exec called him directly to get their electric charge out of it. 😉

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Ok but what happened with the grief book???

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I think it did okay. I am pretty sure it did not contain any of my jokes.

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Genius! You Merrill, not the serial kisser.

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Every word. You had me at 1%.

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Wow.

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It was tremendously satisfying to read about this adventure from your POV, Merrill, and I think your conclusions are right on. It called to mind Eelon Blubberd's reaction to Taylor Swift after she endorsed Kamala Harris.* If you recall, he tweeted, "Fine Taylor, you win, I will give you a child and guard your cats with my life." It garnered the same EWWWW reaction. It's as if he looks in the mirror and sees the manly tattooed Dothraki played by Jason Momoa in Game of Thrones and not the boneless, cruel product of incest, Joffrey Baratheon.

* Elron couldn't let Kamala Harris have the last word either, so he got the teenaged nerds he employs as visa slaves to siphon off *just enough* votes from her in every swing state to make the results look "natural."

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There is a very interesting interview w Kara Swisher in the NYT (by Ezra Klein) in which she shares a few of your conclusions. https://www.nytimes.com/2025/02/07/opinion/ezra-klein-podcast-kara-swisher.html

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"A blissfully bro-free existence" is what I strive for.

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