After many years of therapy and pop-psychology book consumption, I can’t really tolerate human narcissists any more. I don’t care about their tragic self doubts, their need for praise or the roots of their pain. I’m done watching them see-saw back and forth between grandiosity and humiliation. Yet I willingly overlook every obvious behavioral red flag commonly associated with narcissism and the self absorbed when it comes to my love for my dogs.
Things I never say to any of my human companions: “Who’s a good boy”, “what a big stretch”, “go poo, go poo - good girl”, “come here and let me get that booger out of your eye” (and then letting them eat it). My pups are definitely special!
Huzzah for this! And really, the answer is simple. Dogs are endlessly cheerful, never curmudgeonly and always ready to listen esp if biscuits are involved - plus, not many humans can do that endearing eyebrow thing that Terriers can, when they are (clearly) thinking "WTF?"
Or, my personal favourite, that wacky, spontaneous run where they just take off at top speed in a wild, joyous release. For no reason at all. We can all learn a LOT here.
Thanks for explaining this ! As always, I had a wonderful time (reading).
Dog : Joyous greetings, many in a day.
Human narcissist: Complains you're late as you walk in the door. And the inconvenient thing in the wrong direction they insisted they needed you to buy tonight isn't as good as expected.
Cat owner checking in! Really, it's certifiably insane the things we do for these animals. And they're basically gods at my house. Their pictures are all over the walls, like this is North Korea and they are the Dear Leaders.
They live and react entirely in the moment and we cant come close to that. Personally I react to my dogs living entirely in the moment as a slack jawed neanderthal seeing fire for the first time.
It's all about having a good time. Eat whatever you come across, make more dogs, dig a hole and sleep in it. Oh, I met a 4 year old Dobe today at the glass shop that stole my heart in 2 seconds and took me back to 1973 and my first dog.
Maybe it is endorphin or enkephalin release we get by being able to express love as much as we want and they will accept it all at anytime?
and what's with leaving the bones and bullys where you walk? is that a gift or challenge?
After pushing the last houseguests out the door, the mutually codependent relation my husband and I share with our dog is a peaceful respite,even if it is insanely anthropomorphic.
I, meanwhile, live with a very persnickety, judgmental, officious, domineering roommate, who will start the "I wish to remind you of the dinner service" fixed stare about an hour before dinnertime, who will pummel us HARD with stern paws in the early hours of the morning as part of his General Zhukov cosplay (side note, did you see Rupert Murdoch just married the ex-wife of someone whose last name is Zhukov, as my husband and I say with extreme sarcasm "No relation"*), who is working hard in his atelier under the couch on his new performance piece that he calls "A La Recherche du Underlining Perdu," and who further insists on curling up on a lap and purring, thus trapping me for hours when I could be writing, but am not?
*He is a relation AND their daughter was married to Roman Abromovitch, but I digress
I had to quit reading halfway through because I was laughing so hard. Pip, one of my doggie roommates, wanted to make sure I was okay.
It was the idea of my husband barging in to the bathroom- I can’t even. So, so funny. Your are a goddess of hilarity. I bow before you, with sore abs from laughing so hard, and tears streaming down my cheeks.
Very insightful piece, Merrill. We are currently between dogs at the moment, but our Ring doorbell camera usually registers close to 100 dog walkers each day, so we experience much of what you describe, only without clutching plastic bags of poop.
If a human being tried to take up the entire bed in the middle of the night by stretching their entire body out and pushing me with their long bony legs to the edge, I'd likely reach out and punch them in the face. But my greyhound gets pets... 🤷♀️🙄🤔
Things I never say to any of my human companions: “Who’s a good boy”, “what a big stretch”, “go poo, go poo - good girl”, “come here and let me get that booger out of your eye” (and then letting them eat it). My pups are definitely special!
Huzzah for this! And really, the answer is simple. Dogs are endlessly cheerful, never curmudgeonly and always ready to listen esp if biscuits are involved - plus, not many humans can do that endearing eyebrow thing that Terriers can, when they are (clearly) thinking "WTF?"
Or, my personal favourite, that wacky, spontaneous run where they just take off at top speed in a wild, joyous release. For no reason at all. We can all learn a LOT here.
Thanks for explaining this ! As always, I had a wonderful time (reading).
Dog : Joyous greetings, many in a day.
Human narcissist: Complains you're late as you walk in the door. And the inconvenient thing in the wrong direction they insisted they needed you to buy tonight isn't as good as expected.
Dog: Communicates with tail. It's charming.
Human: No tail. Says one thing, means another.
Dog: Delighted by same meal every day.
Human: Irritably hungry but nothing sounds good.
Correct.
Cat owner checking in! Really, it's certifiably insane the things we do for these animals. And they're basically gods at my house. Their pictures are all over the walls, like this is North Korea and they are the Dear Leaders.
I chortled, yes chortled, while I read your essay as I simultaneously rubbed my Bull Terrier’s belly.
They live and react entirely in the moment and we cant come close to that. Personally I react to my dogs living entirely in the moment as a slack jawed neanderthal seeing fire for the first time.
It's all about having a good time. Eat whatever you come across, make more dogs, dig a hole and sleep in it. Oh, I met a 4 year old Dobe today at the glass shop that stole my heart in 2 seconds and took me back to 1973 and my first dog.
Maybe it is endorphin or enkephalin release we get by being able to express love as much as we want and they will accept it all at anytime?
and what's with leaving the bones and bullys where you walk? is that a gift or challenge?
loved it, thank you
After pushing the last houseguests out the door, the mutually codependent relation my husband and I share with our dog is a peaceful respite,even if it is insanely anthropomorphic.
I love you, Merril
“The gaslighting that goes on in all areas of our relationship is off the charts.” 😁 Funny lady.
I, meanwhile, live with a very persnickety, judgmental, officious, domineering roommate, who will start the "I wish to remind you of the dinner service" fixed stare about an hour before dinnertime, who will pummel us HARD with stern paws in the early hours of the morning as part of his General Zhukov cosplay (side note, did you see Rupert Murdoch just married the ex-wife of someone whose last name is Zhukov, as my husband and I say with extreme sarcasm "No relation"*), who is working hard in his atelier under the couch on his new performance piece that he calls "A La Recherche du Underlining Perdu," and who further insists on curling up on a lap and purring, thus trapping me for hours when I could be writing, but am not?
*He is a relation AND their daughter was married to Roman Abromovitch, but I digress
ps Love this as always MM! -- PP
Looking very forward to seeing that Ala Recherche thing.
Basically, I'm assuming it will have an audience of one (you) but it will STILL BE WORTH DOING (as Gus the tuxedo cat says)
I had to quit reading halfway through because I was laughing so hard. Pip, one of my doggie roommates, wanted to make sure I was okay.
It was the idea of my husband barging in to the bathroom- I can’t even. So, so funny. Your are a goddess of hilarity. I bow before you, with sore abs from laughing so hard, and tears streaming down my cheeks.
Very insightful piece, Merrill. We are currently between dogs at the moment, but our Ring doorbell camera usually registers close to 100 dog walkers each day, so we experience much of what you describe, only without clutching plastic bags of poop.
I now have four dogs, and I'm not sure how it happened, no conscious decision was made, I love them all more than some relatives.
There's just something about a dog.
If a human being tried to take up the entire bed in the middle of the night by stretching their entire body out and pushing me with their long bony legs to the edge, I'd likely reach out and punch them in the face. But my greyhound gets pets... 🤷♀️🙄🤔
You'd be crazy to try and resist a sleepy greyhound.
Resistance is futile....🐕🖤