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Chris Stanton's avatar

This is beside the point, but as that happy young couple decide to make it coffee, I realized that the houses in many old movies and TV shows (and ads) had kitchen doors. And I wondered why that fell out of fashion. I would think that it would heighten the delight of your hungry guests when you swing open the door to reveal the attractive Puffy Cheese Omelet you’ve prepared.

Happy Thanksgiving, Merrill!

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Good question. I bet we can blame some kind of 60's architecture school lesson about open floor plans.

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Ellis Levinson's avatar

The reason: Scientists had discovered when two people, one on either side of the door, would attempt to transit in and out of the kitchen simultaneously it would frequently lead to trips to the emergency room, subsequently followed by an appointment with a rhinoplasty surgeon.

Merrill, thanks for this one. Funny and charming. Happy T-day.

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Thanks Ellis. Same to you. And I think, in your above reasoning, you have neglected that kitchen doors are also what kept the rhinoplasty business alive in those early years.

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Chris Stanton's avatar

I feel better about it now that I know there’s a scientific explanation

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Yes. Science solves so many of our problems. Of course, the other ones it creates.

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Ellen Fulton's avatar

Is it strange that I want to steal those graphics and make t-shirts that say “Serve more COTTAGE CHEESE” and “The good Beef Suet”?!?

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

No...it just shows that the traumas of the election have not dulled your razor sharp capitalistic instincts.

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Ellen Fulton's avatar

I don’t know if I have the bandwidth to make money at it, just the craft instinct to make weird things for myself. I should work on turning my weird pro, I guess, since the going has gotten so unrelentingly weird.

In any event, thank you, and Happy Thanksgiving! Grateful for you and the joys of the written word!

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Robin Goldstein's avatar

Wait… there’s Bad Beef Suet? (Which definitely sounds like a first draft of a Jim Croce song… or a rapper I will be embarrassed to say I don’t know). Happy to you and yours.

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Ellen Fulton's avatar

“That new track by Bad Beef Suet slaps!” she said, convincing the youths that we olds had, in fact, all lost our minds. They weren’t wrong.

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Karl Straub's avatar

I haven’t wanted to read anything funny for a long time, so I’ve missed your work for a while. But I’m glad I checked this one out— I like these short films you do.

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Thank you Mr Straub. I understand the impulse. And a Happy Thanksgiving to you and any adjacent Straubs.

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Karl Straub's avatar

There are several adjacent Straubs, judging from the available evidence. Thank you, consider it reciprocated, and I will pass along your very welcome good wishes.

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Betsy Salkind's avatar

I was impressed and surprised that the man participated in the making of the coffee! Happy vegan feast

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

And best of all, this year I have invited nine squirrels to join us. Looking forward to the end of the meal where we all enjoy a large rectangle of matzo.

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That's no lady!'s avatar

We must have pictures too. Happy Thanksgiving Merrill, you are surely bright spot in our day.

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brian m's avatar

thank you so much !!

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Ërb's avatar

And don't be using one of those UNapproved coffee mesaures. Disaster will surely ensue.

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Frances Ryan's avatar

Jacques Pepin cooks Span 'n Limas! https://jp.foundation/video/spam-steak-on-lima-beans

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Lily's avatar

Coffee! Fuel that's inspired young people for 400 years to meet up, gather and talk in defiance of sultans, religious leaders and kings. To sit idle as intellectuals debating new and dangerous ideas. Write books. Publish pamphlets. Mull revolution. Oppose one's father as a woman and business culture as a man. To meet and plan revolutionary actions against oppressive rulers.

To ... wear suits and ties or bouncy dresses with darts and nipped in waists in order to hand off cups with saucers while looking into the eyes of the opposite sex.

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

No wonder I drink so much coffee! Makes perfect sense now!

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Jennifer Young's avatar

Wishing you a lovely Harvest Mold Salad, or Ring Around the Tuna. https://www.cookbookcommunity.com/wp-content/uploads/spaghetti-o-franks-cake.jpg

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Jennifer Ward Dudley's avatar

I think I was 5 when that coffee spot was aired. The guy looks like Eddie Haskell from Leave it To Beaver. Is the LA vibe affecting your sense of humour? Happy Turkey

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Not sure if that is a question or a snipe at my choice of Thanksgiving entrees.

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Jennifer Ward Dudley's avatar

It’s a question. Merely. Simply. A question from an LA refugee.

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Teri Simonds's avatar

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! We have our Thanksgiving menu planned and unfortunately won’t be able to sample those vintage recipes. And that sound track? Ah-mazing!

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

My husband Mr. Prieboy is responsible for the sound track. His music is always amazing. Here is his website where you can download his gorgeous and hilarious musical for free. I guarantee you will like it, https://andyprieboy.com/home

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Mavis Jukes's avatar

Hi and thanks for this!

Question: Can anybody tell me what the sauce is that is so generously plopped I mean dolloped on the cottage cheese omelette. I think we can agree that it resembles… um. Maybe it tastes better than it looks.

Merrill, as always you are the funniest turkey of all. Happy Thanksgiving! 🦃

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Happy Thanksgiving Madame Jukes. I believe the sauce to which you refer is called Cottage Sauce because it is made of everything you can fit into a pot that you find in a cottage.

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Mavis Jukes's avatar

Ah! Of course! I should have known that.

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Susan's avatar

Merrill, your amazing original Squeaky Toy Soundtrack made my Chesapeake sit up from her important task of turning her stick into wood chips and do the Alert Retriever Head Tilt. Then she had to get back to her urgent wood chipping duties, but the soundtrack was greatly enjoyed by the canines and human here in Central Florida. Happy Thanksgiving, and don’t skimp on the Spam!

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Merrill Markoe's avatar

Thanks. And Happy Thanksgiving to you. Credit for the sound track goes to Mr. Andy Prieboy, who can (and will) literally make a sound track out of ANYTHING.

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Margaret Wynn's avatar

My dogs immediately jumped up on the bed, stared at my phone and did that quizzical rotating head-cocking thing dogs do, and then, when the pig appeared, freaked out and jumped back off the bed.

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That's no lady!'s avatar

We couldn't afford Atori, the *good* beef suet, alas.

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