Always handy to also have a few Bible quotes to thrill them with, I'm currently all about the Drowning Mans Parable for those in the Southeast this week, a few verses that address vanity, flattery and lies are fun too!
Omg yes! (Who knew?) this from Psalms: “For there is no truth in their mouth; their inmost self is destruction;their throat is an open grave; they flatter with their tongue”. Their throat is an open grave?? Damn.
My cousin and I (both Democrats) are going on a cruise in April and our other cousin (a likely Retrumplican) will be joining us. We are different personalities. Dem cousin tolerates everything while I tolerate nothing. Between us we're almost one normal person.
We overfeed; resistance is futile. The toughest adversary ever was my cousin, the year he decided that SpongeBob was evil and should be rated NC17, but I defeated him with three kinds of pie.
One of six daughters (no brothers ) 3 of whom are self absorbed or? By the book narcissists . Most if not all your lessons work . Especially nodding, silence and agreeable. Gets em every time. I’ll share . As always .
Argue !! ? As I. 6 girls around our dining table. Mother and daughters Catholic liberals. Duke aka my father documentary film director and producer a staunch Republican. Our voices were heard all the way from sunset to Wilshire. One of my sisters dated Grey Davis who became for some odd reasons Gov of CA (not name dropping!) and one if not most unsuccessful. He was seated many times and joined in the chaos. He was more the quiet guy. Peculiar and wore a lot of grease in his hair. Just a memory. I shared your lessons on my notes 🎶
Sounds like quite a family. I remember Grey Davis. Not the most beloved of California governors, tho when you consider Arnold Schwartzenegger was also a governor it may be one of those clubs you wouldnt want to join if they would have you for a member.
Great advice! I have my DSM-5 handy at all times. I bring my noise canceling headphones everywhere. A handy device when I’m around strangers expressing their political bs. Music is my beautiful escape. Unfortunately not useful with known individuals. In these cases, I never respond but my eyes bug out like crazy. Then I go home and consult my DSM-5 and determine if they meet the criteria for a mental disorder.
For me it’s my AirPods, and if I’m waiting in line doing a little dance makes them nervous like Kamala’s joy. Sometimes I just wear the AirPods turned off, and they just assume I’m focused elsewhere and leave me alone.
Thanks for articulating the problem, as usual your words make it less of a horror. My younger sister and older sister are at far opposite poles in belief (regarding issues like women's rights and 'saviors') but vote the same (the "Angry All The Time, Democrats Are Evil, All News Is Suspect Except Murdach's" voters). They're an example of how Rs have won elections by convincing single-issue voters who disagree with each other to vote for the same presidential candidate. In contrast some of my good and idealistic friends will not vote for any candidate who doesn't pass every subject. Not sure I will see my sisters again but if I do I guess could try seeing their faces each as a flower ... lately I use the 1st of the ACOA STEPS to stop ruminating about what's out of my control, because I need to save my mental health. Because anything I do with words has always had the opposite effect of my intention to make communication better. .
" you're welcome" fab! does putting myself in the position to diagnose and manipulate while passing the gravy equal kind of a messiah/ narcissistic thing? Could you imagine the fun the cops would have if I was in an accident and my pockets were filled with cluster b printouts?
“… a well-timed silence coupled with a complete lack of readable facial expressions can throw a wrench into many a heated argument just by being spooky.”
Thank you, Merrill. This is brilliant. I’m going to practice it in the mirror. I’m wondering if eyebrows should be involved, or just kept still.
I personally do not use eyebrows. But I can see where a judiciously angled single eyebrow raise might be a nice occasional accent. Tho now that I think about it more, not using any facial muscles at all conveys a the idea that a final decision of some kind has been made that the other person is not sure they understand or want to mess with.
Yes. There is a science to this. Raising just the one eyebrow has been a lifetime goal of mine, like whistling through my teeth. Haven’t mastered it yet and time is getting short.
I can raise half my upper lip and look like Elvis though.
I think the blank stare and the lip lift may be an effective combo but I am a rookie here.
I find it so difficult to give a pass to family and friends who support Trump for one reason, he is such a horrible person. This can be confirmed by listening to 5 minutes of any speech he has ever made. I wonder about the character of someone who can support a person like him, I think it says far more about them than it does him.
I have heard many people say alcohol helps with family events, but this is really bad advice. Whatever you do, absolutely avoid alcohol! It will lower your inhibitions at which point you will release the torrent of pent up intellect and logic which will be a ginormous waste of time and energy, and on the far outside chance they try to understand what you’re saying, you’ll just get a complete lack of readable facial expressions like Bryan Cranston from “Breaking Bad”.
If you’re interested in a different take on the DSM and understanding their mental anguish, I offer up this post:
Burst out laughing a couple of times! But I had to look up "nasal labial folds". It doesn't appear to be a "thing" but will certainly add a nice touch to my search history when CSIS comes knocking at my door.
Merrill, I've been writing postcards, too, and I've felt the same way about them. I, too, have no idea why receiving a postcard from me would cause anyone to do anything besides throw away a postcard from me. But I guarantee you that if I received a postcard from you—especially one written in colored pen (are we allowed to do that??)—I'd drop everything and run out to early-vote.
Aww. Thank you Beth. My postcard headquarters encouraged colored pens. And since I have about a thousand of them, I slowed down my own progress a lot by designing a repeatable graphic full of lettering that, now that I think of it, gave me a terrible stiff neck.
That sounds like a very persuasive and endearing sort of postcard to receive! I'm going to bring my colored pens with me the next time my friend and I get together for postcard writing. (Sorry about the stiff neck!)
If there even IS such a thing as a persuasive and endearing sort of postcard bother than one that is sent by a sobbing 8 year old child who wants you to help protect their future.
Also very good advice. And as the food runs out, you know what else would be a good touch? Start to put the chairs upside down on the tables like they do in a restaurant when they are getting ready to mop the floor. Maybe even bring out an open contained or sudsy ammonia, for ambience.
Always handy to also have a few Bible quotes to thrill them with, I'm currently all about the Drowning Mans Parable for those in the Southeast this week, a few verses that address vanity, flattery and lies are fun too!
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parable_of_the_drowning_man
https://biblereasons.com/flattery/
Wow. GREAT idea. I didnt think of the usefulness of Bible quotes. THere is A LOT of stuff in there!!
Omg yes! (Who knew?) this from Psalms: “For there is no truth in their mouth; their inmost self is destruction;their throat is an open grave; they flatter with their tongue”. Their throat is an open grave?? Damn.
This is SO AWESOME.
My cousin and I (both Democrats) are going on a cruise in April and our other cousin (a likely Retrumplican) will be joining us. We are different personalities. Dem cousin tolerates everything while I tolerate nothing. Between us we're almost one normal person.
But these techniques may come in handy for later.
Best wishes for a safe and enjoyable cruise!
Romans 16:18 covers a lot of GOP territory!
https://biblehub.com/romans/16-18.htm
We overfeed; resistance is futile. The toughest adversary ever was my cousin, the year he decided that SpongeBob was evil and should be rated NC17, but I defeated him with three kinds of pie.
Bravo. Hilarious. I love this approach.
One of six daughters (no brothers ) 3 of whom are self absorbed or? By the book narcissists . Most if not all your lessons work . Especially nodding, silence and agreeable. Gets em every time. I’ll share . As always .
Thank you JWD. I was raised to argue but them pushed in this direction by a very smart therapist. She totally rearranged my psyche for the better.
Argue !! ? As I. 6 girls around our dining table. Mother and daughters Catholic liberals. Duke aka my father documentary film director and producer a staunch Republican. Our voices were heard all the way from sunset to Wilshire. One of my sisters dated Grey Davis who became for some odd reasons Gov of CA (not name dropping!) and one if not most unsuccessful. He was seated many times and joined in the chaos. He was more the quiet guy. Peculiar and wore a lot of grease in his hair. Just a memory. I shared your lessons on my notes 🎶
Sounds like quite a family. I remember Grey Davis. Not the most beloved of California governors, tho when you consider Arnold Schwartzenegger was also a governor it may be one of those clubs you wouldnt want to join if they would have you for a member.
Tell them, "You are exactly right."
Great advice! I have my DSM-5 handy at all times. I bring my noise canceling headphones everywhere. A handy device when I’m around strangers expressing their political bs. Music is my beautiful escape. Unfortunately not useful with known individuals. In these cases, I never respond but my eyes bug out like crazy. Then I go home and consult my DSM-5 and determine if they meet the criteria for a mental disorder.
My dude! A very smart approach in all respects!
For me it’s my AirPods, and if I’m waiting in line doing a little dance makes them nervous like Kamala’s joy. Sometimes I just wear the AirPods turned off, and they just assume I’m focused elsewhere and leave me alone.
You are braver than I am. The AirPods still allows sound from the outside to get in. I go for total blockage.
It’s a talent I have. I can block the muzac in stores at will.
I dance a little to whatever song is in my head that day. So people REALLY get uncomfortable. LOL
Thanks for articulating the problem, as usual your words make it less of a horror. My younger sister and older sister are at far opposite poles in belief (regarding issues like women's rights and 'saviors') but vote the same (the "Angry All The Time, Democrats Are Evil, All News Is Suspect Except Murdach's" voters). They're an example of how Rs have won elections by convincing single-issue voters who disagree with each other to vote for the same presidential candidate. In contrast some of my good and idealistic friends will not vote for any candidate who doesn't pass every subject. Not sure I will see my sisters again but if I do I guess could try seeing their faces each as a flower ... lately I use the 1st of the ACOA STEPS to stop ruminating about what's out of my control, because I need to save my mental health. Because anything I do with words has always had the opposite effect of my intention to make communication better. .
" you're welcome" fab! does putting myself in the position to diagnose and manipulate while passing the gravy equal kind of a messiah/ narcissistic thing? Could you imagine the fun the cops would have if I was in an accident and my pockets were filled with cluster b printouts?
Hilarious, thank you !!
I guess it would be fighting fire with fire....even tho in a battle of real narcissistic will, your opponent is going to win in a hot second.
“… a well-timed silence coupled with a complete lack of readable facial expressions can throw a wrench into many a heated argument just by being spooky.”
Thank you, Merrill. This is brilliant. I’m going to practice it in the mirror. I’m wondering if eyebrows should be involved, or just kept still.
I personally do not use eyebrows. But I can see where a judiciously angled single eyebrow raise might be a nice occasional accent. Tho now that I think about it more, not using any facial muscles at all conveys a the idea that a final decision of some kind has been made that the other person is not sure they understand or want to mess with.
Yes. There is a science to this. Raising just the one eyebrow has been a lifetime goal of mine, like whistling through my teeth. Haven’t mastered it yet and time is getting short.
I can raise half my upper lip and look like Elvis though.
I think the blank stare and the lip lift may be an effective combo but I am a rookie here.
I find it so difficult to give a pass to family and friends who support Trump for one reason, he is such a horrible person. This can be confirmed by listening to 5 minutes of any speech he has ever made. I wonder about the character of someone who can support a person like him, I think it says far more about them than it does him.
Agree. This stuff is shocking to people like us.
Great advice, Merrill. “Studies have shown” is my favorite literary device - rarely challenged.
I have heard many people say alcohol helps with family events, but this is really bad advice. Whatever you do, absolutely avoid alcohol! It will lower your inhibitions at which point you will release the torrent of pent up intellect and logic which will be a ginormous waste of time and energy, and on the far outside chance they try to understand what you’re saying, you’ll just get a complete lack of readable facial expressions like Bryan Cranston from “Breaking Bad”.
If you’re interested in a different take on the DSM and understanding their mental anguish, I offer up this post:
https://open.substack.com/pub/johnrochatnorcal/p/la-belle-indifference?r=1pjrv1&utm_medium=ios
Cracked me up. As usual. Thanks! 👍🏻
Thanks Immelda!
Burst out laughing a couple of times! But I had to look up "nasal labial folds". It doesn't appear to be a "thing" but will certainly add a nice touch to my search history when CSIS comes knocking at my door.
Merrill, I've been writing postcards, too, and I've felt the same way about them. I, too, have no idea why receiving a postcard from me would cause anyone to do anything besides throw away a postcard from me. But I guarantee you that if I received a postcard from you—especially one written in colored pen (are we allowed to do that??)—I'd drop everything and run out to early-vote.
Aww. Thank you Beth. My postcard headquarters encouraged colored pens. And since I have about a thousand of them, I slowed down my own progress a lot by designing a repeatable graphic full of lettering that, now that I think of it, gave me a terrible stiff neck.
That sounds like a very persuasive and endearing sort of postcard to receive! I'm going to bring my colored pens with me the next time my friend and I get together for postcard writing. (Sorry about the stiff neck!)
If there even IS such a thing as a persuasive and endearing sort of postcard bother than one that is sent by a sobbing 8 year old child who wants you to help protect their future.
“Reciprocal discomfort” is already my go-to in most situations.
Merrill, this is hilarious and brilliant as always.
Thank you Chase Roper!
Rule 1: Don't have seven hours' worth of food for a three hour party.
Rule 2: See Rule 1
Also very good advice. And as the food runs out, you know what else would be a good touch? Start to put the chairs upside down on the tables like they do in a restaurant when they are getting ready to mop the floor. Maybe even bring out an open contained or sudsy ammonia, for ambience.